Janicek.com

We left the house at 3:00 a.m. last Saturday flew into Cleveland Ohio to get there in time to rent a car, drive 30 miles out to Painesville for lunch at Brennen’s Fish House, and then to Lake Erie College. We were finally able to see one of UC women’s lacrosse games in person. It was a bit chilly and very windy, but really exciting to be able to watch a game live. The Golden Eagles won 18-3.

Maly rode with us the four hours back to Charleston. Maly had a late lunch provided by the team, and Elise, Mara and I were still okay from our big lunch. We got to Charleston late and hung out in Maly and Mackenzie’s dorm room for a bit before we needed to head out to find a hotel. Mara then decided that she was hungry, so went to Sheetz where I’m sure we got her something fortified with all kinds of essential vitamins and nutrients. We also witnessed a homeless guy shoplift about a dozen Red Bulls.

On Sunday the girls (including Mackenzie) went to mass. While they were at church, I went for what I was thinking would be a nice, peaceful, and relaxed 5 mile run. I planned a route that would take me down Virginia Street to the capitol, and then I’d hook back up Quarrier to our hotel. As I was heading out, I couldn’t help but notice the black sky in the west above the mountains. I figured I could beat whatever was coming if it came. What I really figured was that whatever was above those mountains would blow north of Charleston.

I made it to the north lawn of the capitol and started heading back west. I was met with a 20 degree drop in temperature and a 40 mile per hour headwind that rocketed dust and leaves straight at me, to the point where I had to turn around in place and duck down. I still managed to get a lot of dust in my eyes and contact lenses. After the coast cleared a bit, I chuckled and trudged on, knowing that my remaining two and a half miles might become interesting. And that’s when the rain started. I’m no stranger to running in the rain. I actually enjoy it. It was a little colder and windier than I’d’ve liked, but I survived the 2018 Boston Marathon, so I welcomed whatever Mother Nature had in store. Well, she heard me, and she deployed a monsoon of pea-sized hail. That was interesting. Thankfully I was in town and was able to duck under the Dollar General’s awning to wait out the short-lived hail storm.

I got back in time to shower and then the girls picked me up and we all went out for lunch at First Watch. After lunch Maly and Mackenzie went back to UC, and Elise, Mara and I made the long and windy haul out to Snowshoe. I’ve decided that while Charleston is great, it’s not until you venture out, even if it’s just on main highways, where you start seeing the beauty that is West Virginia. The thick trees, the rolling and sometimes towering Allegheny Mountains, the hollers, the Monongahela forest, the rivers, the land, the history, and the homesteads.

Something I’ve learned to appreciate is that most everything slows down in Appalachia. Especially the driving. 150 miles might take you a couple hours in a car in Texas. In Appalachia 150 miles can take twice as long, if not more, depending on a myriad of things, but most notably the winding roads. You’re driving through the mountains and our experiences have always been met with what I consider is a beautiful part of the country. I love it out there. It’s the mountains and flowing rivers and creeks and branches that do it for me. I want to have a place out there somewhere. I just don’t know where that somewhere is. We haven’t seen most of West Virginia yet. Some of it is very scary, and that’s part of the appeal. It’s scary because there is so much out there that has never, and probably never will be seen with human eyes. There’s so much unknown out there. As the state’s license plates read: Wild Wonderful.

We made it to Snowshoe at around 7:00 p.m. We’d stopped at an IGA in Marlinton to pick up some random sundries and ingredients for pepperoni rolls. Fun fact: the pepperoni roll was invented in West Virginia. We settled into our condo. I made pepperoni rolls. Mara found the Life on Earth docuseries on Netflix that is narrated by Morgan Freeman and we got pretty hooked on that for our evening entertainment for our late season ski trip.

We woke up and headed to the Snowshoe resort early on Monday. We paid for our lift tickets and ski rentals. We were too late to book lessons, so we were on our own. We started our little ski adventure just outside the ski rental shop where we somehow managed to teach Mara to stay upright on skis. After a couple hours of us all figuring out how to ski, we decided to try to head down Skidder and Log Run to the base. It was late in the season, so there wasn’t enough snow to blanked a wide enough swath for Mara and I to make the turns to keep us at a comfortable speed in order to get down the mountain on skis. I wasn’t having any faith in myself so I decided to call it and just walk down the run in ski boots. Mara decided to do the same. Walking down a moutain in ski boots is not fun.

We rode the lift back up and had to give Mara a crash course in getting off of a lift. She and I both ate it. Elise takes to skiing like riding a bike. Me, not so much. I don’t know if I’d say I have PTSD, but snow skiing makes me nervous. I broke my ankle the first time I snow skied. I wasn’t afraid to give it another go, but I think my subconcious is getting a little conservative on me in my older years. And we currently don’t have health insurance.

We had a late lunch at Foxfire Grille. I’ll spare the food review. Thankfully our meals were affordable by ski resort standards.

At that point we were already tired and beat-up (more so Mara and me from humping it down a steep frozen hill in ski boots) so we called it a day.

We got a late(r) start on Tuesday. We wanted to get our money’s worth. Tuesday was a prettier day. It was in the 50’s and sunny all day. Elise went on a bunch of runs. We found the lift for Skidder, so Mara spend 4 hours going up and down her little run with the other novices and ski school kiddos. She had a blast, and I had a grin on my face the whole time watching her gain confidence in snow skiing. I was really happy that the girls got to go skiing. And Mara had a great time and was totally content making her loops. And I was content watching her and hanging out in the sun.

The girls closed the mountain and wrapped up on two day skiing adventure at Snowshoe. Since our lunch at Foxfire Grille the day before was horrible, I found a restaurant within walking distance that looked promising. Unfortunately it and its two sister restaurants were closed for a staff event, so we drove down the mountain to a little IGA mini mart convenience store where I thought we could procure some dinner ingredients. Mara said she wasn’t very hungry, so Elise and bought a big can of Campbell’s Chunky Clam Chowder.

We came home, made our soup, and tried to wrap up our game of Monopoly while we watched more episodes of Life on Earth.

We taught Mara how to ski and play Monopoly. I’d say that makes for a Spring Break vacation parenting win.

We had to check out and head out early on Wednesday to make our way up to Philippi for UC’s first MEC conference game against Davis and Elkins. But first we had to make a couple stops. The first was at the Green Bank Observatory. I had no idea this place existed. Talk about weird and very cool. A two and half acre radio telescope nestled in the Allegheny range. A radio telescope nestled in the National Radio Silent Zone. A radio telescope that listens to things millions of light years away. I would’ve loved to take a tour and learn more, but we were pressed for time and had another stop to make. I really wanted to learn about the weird stuff the telescope has “heard.”

Our next stop was at Seneca Rocks. Again I wish we could’ve stayed longer and hiked to the summit, but instead we hung out at the edge of the North Fork of the South Branch of the Potomac River. The weather was amazing. The river was beatiful. But we had to get gettin’.

We made it to Philippi 8 minutes into the first quarter of the girls’ game against Davis & Elkins at the former campus of Alderson Broaddus. This was our first Mountain East Conference game and the girls put their flag in the ground with an 18-5 win. I don’t know about Elise, but it was a proud parent moment to watch your child take the field in an NCAA conference game. And it was a warm and beatiful day, which made for an awesome day to be outside watching our child play lacrosse.

After the game we scooped up Maly and the four of us drove the 3 hours back to Charleston. We swung by Maly’s dorm and decided to head back out the South Charleston for Vietnamese food. We spend the rest of the evening between Kroger and Walmart to stock Maly and Mackenzie’s dorm, and we hung out with Maly and a dormroom full of friends before we called it a night.

We didn’t realize that there was a high school basketball tournament in town, so we had to drive out to Cross Lanes and stayed at a Wyndham that provided us with about four gallons of hot water and no shower curtain.

On Thursday morning Elise, Mara and I got breakfast at the hotel, went out and shopped storage units, took a quick tour of the capitol building, did some shopping at the UC bookstore, and then picked Maly up after lift to take her to her last physical therapy appointment with Hugh (and to pay her bill), and then had to get Maly back to campus for practice. Elise, Mara and I drove back out to Dunbar to just drive around, and then to the famous Spring Hill Pastry Shop in South Charleston.

We went back to our hotel and Mara and I conked out (probably a sugar crash). The evening was upon us and we headed out to the South Hills of Charleston to meet Maly and Mackenzie for dinner at 1010 Bridge. The restaurant is charming. Our waiter was great. The food was good.

But it was getting late. Maly had to get back and study for her accounting test on Friday morning, and Elise, Mara and I had to hit the road early to drive up to Cincinnati to catch our flight home. We had to say our goodbyes in a restaurant parking lot in South Hills. It’s not what I’d’ve wanted, but it’s probably better that way. Maly had things she needed to do, and we needed to get up early and hit the road.

I silently drove us back to our hotel but didn’t let on that my eyes were sweaty. When we got back to the hotel I immediately commandeered the bathroom so I could “take my contacts out,” but really I went in there to have my moment of already missing my daughter dearly. I know, in my heart of hearts, I would’ve been worse off, but my daughter that I miss dearly taught me to don’t make it sad. She’s doing just fine and I’m proud of how she’s doing it.

There were parts during the trip where I was anxious to get back home. But looking back, I cherish the spring break and the time with the girls.

I used to really enjoy Facebook. It took some arm-twisting to join back in 2007 because I didn’t really understand the reason for or value of social media. But I joined, and realized its value because I could share life updates — specifically our life with our new daughter — with distant family and friends, and I could get a glimpse into the lives of those same distant family and friends.

And Facebook allowed me to try to make people laugh. I’ve always tried to “produce” instead of “consume.” Granted I’ve done my fair share of mindless scrolling and consuming, but I always liked to contribute something to the internet, and I like to think that I’m kind of witty* and I firmly stand by the adage that laughter is the best medicine.

Nowadays Facebook puts people who I don’t know on my feed and less from people who I actually know. And then there are the endless “reels” (I’m putting “reels” in “quotes” here because in five years, whenever “reels” aren’t a thing any longer, we’ll all remember the time wasted watching 30 second videos of mindnumbingly stupid “content.”)

And then there’s the politics. This was an election year. Donald Trump was voted in as president again and while I’ve been pretty good about not letting politics eat into my overall well-being, the divisiveness thereof has taken its bite, and I can, fortunately, control that by simply changing the channel or just switching the damn thing off.

I’m not closing my Facebook account, and I’m not leaving or ignoring Facebook, I’m just taking it out of my pocket.

*some of the internet do not think that I’m very funny.

Today started week 2 at the new job. It’s a long story, but I’d been in tech and tech sales for a lot of unfulfilling years. Some things lined up, some luck happened, and I found myself getting hired by some good folks to run the business operations of a local metal roofing supply company. I don’t know much about the metal roofing industry, but I’m going to get to learn.

Today Saul and I went on-site to roll panels for a job. The process is fascinating. We lugged custom formed and cut panels off the back of the machine to the home’s driveway.

I’ve always envied that last scene in the movie Office Space where Peter says, “this ain’t too bad. Makin’ bucks. Gettin’ exercise. Workin’ outside….”

My job isn’t to go on-site and roll and lug metal roofing panels, but I’ll do it whenever I can. It beats the hell out of emails and Zoom meetings.

As Saul and I were driving back to the shop after rolling panels, we talked about family, home, former jobs, cars, the NBA, and all kinds of stuff in his broken English and my terribly broken Spanish. We laughed a lot. The universal language. We listened to David Pabon and Celia Cruz. Saul bought me a Coke at the 7-Eleven. He knew I’d get thirsty and need the calories even though I told him I’d be fine. He knew better.

I don’t know when, why, or how it became a tradition to take a photo with the girls and me on my birthday, but I’m glad Elise did it. There are some years missing; I’m not sure why. I know in 2024 we were in College Station for the Maly’s senior year at the Aggieland Lacrosse tournament.

I have three more days at my current job. As I type this I am employed by a software subsidiary of a big, corporate, Fortune 500 company.

Early in my job here I met with all of my peers individually, just for introductions and to solicit guidance and best practices so I could do my job successfully. I specifically remember the conversation that I had with my friend Cameron. He’s been with the company for many years and is always a top producer. He told me that he thought I would do just fine at this job as I had the tenacity, experience, and attitude to be successful. He went on to tell me about some previous employees that just weren’t a fit and didn’t last very long. He said there were a couple who were “mouse jigglers.”

I didn’t know what a mouse jiggler was so I looked it up. A mouse jiggler is software used to simulate the movement of a computer mouse. It can also be a mechanical device moving the physical computer mouse. I guess in most implementations it’s so that an employee can be away from his desk, endeavoring upon other fruitful and enjoyable pursuits while tricking coworkers and managers to think that he’s at his desk, busy writing emails and accepting many meeting invitations.

I only have three days left at this job. I’ve had conversations with my bosses since I submitted my resignation. I have nothing to do at my current job other than a couple exit interviews and await a pre-paid postage box that I’ll use to ship my work-issued laptop back to headquarters.

So I spent a few minutes this morning to learn more about “mouse jiggling.”

I mean, if you can’t have fun in your last days at a job, what else are you going to do? Jiggle your own mouse?

Twenty two years ago today I started a job at Wellness Works. After being there for a couple years, my boss promoted me, handed me the keys, and taught me how to run the business.

This Friday will mark the 1-year anniversary that I was wrongfully fired from my job at a run club, denied unemployment compensation because my then-boss lied to the Texas Workforce Commission, and made for a really stressful and frustrating 2024.

This Friday will also be my last day at my current job. There’s a bit of a full circle thing happening and I’m excited about it.

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. Not what I’d expected, but pleasantly refreshing. This was the first week after holidays and that time of year when we’ve historically just been thrust back into normal life. And I always kind of dread this week. I get the post-holiday winter blues.

I was doing okay all through last weekend, and even early on Monday morning. I didn’t make it sad. But when the buzzer went off at 8:00 a.m. and it was finally time to go back to normal, I sat at my desk and then it hit me. I dreaded going back to work. I just didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t inspired. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I felt like I didn’t belong there, doing that job. It was 8:04 a.m. and I was already depressed.

I knew I had just just start doing something to make progress in figuring out what I was going to do next. I decided I’d just start the slow and arduous job of looking for a job, sending out resumes, maybe get some interviews, and just see where my journey takes me. But in my heart of hearts I knew that the standard job search wasn’t going to work. So, for grins, I went to our neighborhood’s “job board” Facebook group and saw a post from back in early September. A neighbor was looking for a Director of Operations to manage their business. So I sent her a message. I knew it was a long shot since her post was four months old. As luck would have it, she messaged me back, told me that they’d hired someone for the role, and his start date was supposed to be that very day, but he no-showed. She asked me to send her my resume, so I obliged. She then asked if I’d be able to come in for an interview that week. I gave her my availability, so we settled on an interview the next morning at 10:00 a.m. By 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday I had a job offer. I put in my resignation with my current company at 3:00 p.m.

I’m so excited about this new job. It’s just too much to list here, but it’s like life has come full circle. I used to do a similar job in another life 20 years ago. I’d lucked into that job by way of being a dedicated and trustworthy employee. My boss promoted me and taught me how to run the business, and I like to think I did a good job at it. I loved that job. I got to make decisions, I got to be creative, I got to be a servant leader, I got to build relationship, I got to learn every day, I got my ass kicked and I got back up. But that company was sold, and my team and I weren’t part of the acquisition. I lost that job. So that lead me down a long and different career path that, if I’m being honest, a lot of it hasn’t been as fulfilling.

So, long story short, my week and upcoming months that I was set to dread turned into a fast and furious and amazing change for the good, and I’m really, really excited about it.

Maly went back up to Charleston past Saturday. She was dreading it (to a degree). The first day of school was canceled because of snow and ice. She doesn’t have classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays, so her first day of class was on Wednesday. After my good luck on Tuesday and Wednesday, I sent her a text message to see how life and classes had been. She said it was a good day. That made my day that much better.

It’s high time we have a series of fortunate events.

Elise and I took Maly to the airport yesterday afternoon so she could get back to Charleston to start school on Monday. She was bummed about having to go back. We were bummed about her going back. There were a few hints during the break about her dropping out, or transferring to another college. I think it’s the post-holiday blues and knowing she has to go back to “work” 1,300 miles away from home.

I get it. I get the blues after the holidays. In fact, I get it really badly. I probably get depressed. I just don’t have a doctor to tell me I get clinically depressed.

While I was writing this year’s Christmas Newsletter, I could tell I really starting to get the blues. And I was worried that I’d really start getting down today and tonight since it’s the Sunday after Maly left for college, Elise and I are back to work (again, after a weekend), and Mara’s Christmas break is coming to an end too.

Maly spent four days in Aspen with Jared and his family. She came back on January 1st so she could spend time with us, and get ready to head back to Charleston. Jared and the family stayed in Aspen until the 4th, which is the same day Maly left for Charleston. Maly and Jared had to say goodbye in Aspen. I guess now that I type that, Aspen’s probably not a bad place to say goodbye.

But I asked her if it was sad having to say goodbye to Jared in Aspen. She simply said, “yeah, but we didn’t make it sad.” I heard her when she said those words, but they didn’t set in until yesterday, the day we’d take Maly to the airport. The end of her Christmas break and the last time we’d see her in person for months. I made it a point to be around her as much as I could yesterday. I kept trying to remember the words she used. Was it “don’t let it be sad” or “don’t make it sad?”

I settled on “don’t make it sad.” That implies that I have some control of how I manage my emotions. If I think “don’t let it be sad” that implies that I’ll let my emotions dictate my emotional wellbeing.

We took Maly to the airport yesterday. We parked in short-term parking and walked into the airport with her to check her bag and to see her off to go through TSA. Every once in a while I’d think to myself, “don’t make it sad.” We watched Maly until we couldn’t see her anymore. I don’t think either of us wanted to leave the airport, but there was no sense in hanging out at the airport. Our child was on her way.

Instead of going home for the invariable moping and sitting on the couch and watching TV, Elise and I went to Home Depot and Costco. We had time to kill, and it was something to do.

When we got home, I kept reminding myself, “don’t make it sad.” I stayed busy. I made green chile pork stew, watched some football, went to bed, put a dent in Great Expectations, and conked out around 10 p.m. and slept the best that I can recall in a really long time. I slept in until 5:45 (I’m usually up around 4:00 a.m.). I got out of bed a little disoriented because I’m usually out the door for a run before 6. I started my morning rituals and “don’t make it sad” popped into my head like it was second nature. I didn’t think or dwell on Christmas winding down, or Maly being halfway across the country and us not seeing her again for months. I pressed on, went about my morning, got dressed, loaded up, and went for my run.

When she left home for college in August, I was a wreck. For weeks.

This morning was very gray and slightly windy. The outside atmosphere was somber and melancholy. I loaded up a “chill winter mix” playlist and just went out to run the hills in Lost Creek and Barton Creek. I didn’t let anything get to me. I didn’t make it sad.

It’s simple and effective. And it’s a lesson learned from whom would otherwise be the source of sadness.

Don’t make it sad.

I had a HeartSaver CT scan on December 20th to check for any calcification of my coronary arteries. The results came in today. I scored a zero across the board. There’s no presence of atherosclerotic plaque in any of the scanned coronary arteries.

I’ve run every day since December 20th because it’s just what I do. I enjoy it more than anything, and I’m training to pace the Austin Marathon on February 16th so I can help others achieve their goals. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in these past 14 that I haven’t thought that this might be the last run. Something could get lodged or dislodged and that could be the proverbial widowmaker.

I opened the envelope that contained my test results as I walked the quarter mile back from the mailbox. I read as fast as I could and took in as much as I could until I got to the series of zeros in my Agatston score. My throat closed and my eyes just filled with tears. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because I fear death. I don’t think I do. But I do contemplate my mortality as I get older. I wonder if it’s because I think this is just going to be a part of life now; getting scans and tests for things that I need to get scanned and tested so I can know what’s going to slow me down and kill me if I’m proactive about it. But that’s all doom and gloom.

I think the reason that my eyes welled up is because a piece of paper reminded me that I’m alive today. And today is all that I have.

Maly sent us this video from her last day of skiing in Aspen. Elise and I have watched it more times that we can count. It’s heartwarming and funny, and while each time I watch it I find myself laughing just as much I did the first time I watched it, I’ve also found motivation and inspiration from it.

1. Stop being intimidated or scared. Put yourself out there. Try new things. Do hard things.
2. Be confident, comfortable, and willing to laugh at yourself. Life is too short and too serious to not laugh often and bring smiles and laughter to others.
3. No matter how many times I get knocked down, keep getting back up.

Every year, beginning in mid-December, Strava generates these cool year in review wrap-up graphics for subscribers who use its service. It’s kind of cool to see a snapshot of what all I’ve done in sport (mostly running) in the past 12 months.

Merry and Bright and everything’s alright

Merry Christmas, and we hope this year’s newsletter finds you blessed and bright. It’s amazing that a whole week has already passed since I wrote the last newsletter. I know it hasn’t been a week, but it feels like it.

2024 for us has been a humdinger. A real hootenanny. And here I am, reflecting on it all. It’s hard to reflect on the past year in my head because I’m getting old. I went through some years where I’d find myself having walked into a room and then forget why I even walked into that room. There were a couple times when I’d find myself in the bathroom with my zipper pulled down and forget why I was in that room. Thankfully I could put two-and-two together on that endeavor. I told Elise if she finds me at the mailbox with my zipper pulled down then it’s time to put me in the home. Right now I’m at that stage in life where I’ll be sitting on the couch and be inspired by an immediate chore or task, I’ll stand up to tend to the task, and then find myself trying to remember why I even stood up in the first place.

Funny stuff aside, this year has been, for yours truly, in a word, hard. The tone was set in mid-January when I was fired from my job at the local run club. I’d never been fired from a job before so it really stung. What stung even more is that I was fired for unsubstantiated reasons. I’ll spare you the gory details, but over the course of the following 5 months there was a lot of anger and frustration, and eventually a hearing with the Texas Workforce Commission. Yours truly won but it made for a very stressful first half of the year and was a stark reminder to go with my gut when something’s not right, especially with workplace management.

I started a new job in mid-June and was quick to put all of those aforementioned frustrations behind me. Until I reminded myself of them for the sake of this newsletter. And now I’m all pissed off again and I was going to stand up and kick my chair but then I forgot why I stood up.

Elise celebrated her 1-year anniversary at Wilson Roofing this past October. You should see her now. She’s so tan and muscular from all of the roofs that she’s been installing that you wouldn’t even recognize her. She was hired on as the receptionist until they realized how muscular she is in the brain and ambition, so they moved her into an account management role where she does things like managing accounts and other account management duties. All I know is that she comes home and has all kinds of office antics to recount. Things like ugly sweater contests, toilets nearly overflowing, and customers and coworkers who tell her that they really appreciate her.

This year was a tough one for us as parents as we sent Maly off to college this past August. Steve (Elise’s dad) always reassures that we’ve given her strong roots and wings, and while Elise and I are confident that we’ve done a pretty okay job in raising her, it’s still just so damn hard when your child moves away. I know Elise and I share many feelings and emotions, but we still had and have our own. I think we both began our “grieving” early in Maly’s senior year of high school when we knew the inevitable was nearing. I think Elise did a better job of processing her emotions over a longer period of time throughout the school year. I also had many of my own moments and opportunities, but it really hit me hard after we dropped her off in Charleston, WV, came back home, and were thrust back into “normal” life. I was a weepy, emotional, depressed wreck for weeks after we left her. I’m doing much better now, but it took me a really long time to get to this point. More time than I’d honestly anticipated.

All of my sappy emotions aside, Maly is doing really well in college. She was recruited to play Division II women’s lacrosse, so she had a community and friend group going into her college experience. Lacrosse is a Spring sport, but the Fall semester included lots of practices, workouts, and scrimmages. She’s doing great academically as well. She has already changed her major from nursing to business. She’s learning to navigate life as an adult and make big decisions and we think she’s doing a damn good job of it. I guess we did do kind of an okay job with that whole roots and wings thing.

Mara started the 7th grade this year and is still our little loving and adorable baby. Although she’s not so little any more, nor is she a baby. Hell, she’ll be a teenager here in a few months. While she is getting into that teen phase and has become more independent and has her own thoughts and opinions and ideas on things, she remains her agreeable and easy-going self. She’s always been really good about going with the flow and taking life as it happens, and while I’m bad about telling her, I greatly admire that quality about her and she sets a really good example for me.

The age difference between our daughters didn’t really make for a close sister relationship as children, but when they said “goodbye” when we were leaving Maly at her dorm in August brought Elise and me to tears. It really hit Mara when it was time for that final hug goodbye. The girls both laughed in acknowledging that they both didn’t think it would be so hard to say goodbye to each other, and Mara was still crying in the van as we finally drove away. Being the young stoic that she is, she lightened the collective mood by telling us that she was excited to finally have the bathroom all to herself.

Mara still plays lacrosse for Southwest Area Girls Lacrosse and her season will be starting back up in February. Seventh grade is always when middle school gets more difficult and demanding and she’s been feeling it, but she’s been doing great and learning how to adapt. There have been times when Elise and I will start getting concerned about academics, organization and executive functioning, and then Mara will just get it all taken care of. Mara’s independence is her own, and Elise and I have to remind ourselves of that while we continue to do our job with that whole roots and wings thing.

The family dynamic is obviously different now with just the three of us in the house, and I don’t think we’ve quite settled into whatever the new normal is. This whole year has been met with all kinds of new. Elise and I both started new jobs. Maly moved 1,200 miles away for college. Mara became the only child in the house. And both cats now have osteoarthritis.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned the pets in a Christmas newsletter in a long time. We’ve had Loki (orange tabby), Mac (gray tabby) and Blue (Australian cattle dog/Husky mix) for well over a decade now. Elise and I are getting old and the pets are getting old too. Both cats have osteoarthritis. We’ve always kept the cat food up high, on the far side of the bar in the kitchen so the dog won’t eat their food. Now we have to lift both cats up to the bar so they can eat because they can no longer jump up. They both have old and tired back legs. Mac has diabetes, so we have to give him 4 units of insulin twice daily. I always joked that if we had pets that required that much maintenance I’d take them out to the pasture, which is really our tiny little suburban backyard. But they’re our pets, which means they’re part of the family and, well, I don’t think there’s really anything more important than family. I’d probably build little scooters for the cats if they get to the point where they can’t use their back legs any longer.

I admittedly put off writing this Christmas newsletter this year. I always become very conscious of it when thoughts and discussions of Halloween start to surface. And that’s when I start to think about how arduous the task is to recount everything that’s happened in the past year. I always joke about how bad my memory is and how I can’t even remember what I did yesterday, but that’s just me making light of the truth. So I’ll start to go through the photos that I’ve taken in the past year. And then that makes me all distracted and nostalgic and sappy. And many of the photos that I’ve taken often don’t have context, so then I’ll start scrolling through my Facebook account to see what all we’ve done in the past year. And then I’ll get mad at myself for not posting more stuff on Facebook, but I’ll remind myself that people who purportedly know more stuff about life than I do say that social media is bad and is a waste of your time. At that point, many hours, hell, probably days have gone by and I’ve forgotten why I was looking at all of my photos and Facebook posts from 2024 in the first place. And then before I know it, it’s time to rush and cram in the last bit of day job work, schedule that groan-worthy but necessary “I’ll be out for the holidays but I look forward to connecting after the New Year. Happy Holidays!” email autoresponder, family comes into town or we have to rush into the logistics of our family’s travel, and invariably there’s more presents to procure, and then, all of the sudden, it’s Christmas morning.

As I type this it’s December 29th. I’m really late in authoring the newsletter. I think this is the first year that I didn’t write this before Christmas Day. However, I’m one of those that believes in the 12 days of Christmas. Not so much as a religious observation and the leading up to Epiphany, but because I just really like Christmas. I love Christmas trees, the smell of pine and bald cypress, Santa Claus and his reindeer, presents, stockings, the lights, the Christmas movies, the food and the cookies, the music, and all of the fond memories that I have from my childhood Christmases, and now the many Christmas memories that I’ve amassed over the years with Elise, our daughters, and our family.

It’s December 29th and I’m sitting on the back deck and it’s 65 degrees outside. I just got bit by a mosquito on that meaty part between my thumb and forefinger on my left hand. Christmas eve and day have come and gone, just like any other date on the calendar. It didn’t feel like Christmastime outside on its eve or day this year in Austin as it was unseasonably warm. It doesn’t feel like Christmastime outside right now. It’s Sunday afternoon and it’s back to work for Elise and me tomorrow. If I’m being honest, I’m suffering from the Sunday Syndrome. I don’t want to go back to work and “normal” tomorrow. I’m dreading it. I want Christmastime to stay. But I know it can’t. The days will continue to come and go faster and faster, as they all seem to do nowadays, and another Christmas will be here before I know it, and I need to remind myself to continue cherish and love every Christmas, every day in between, and the family and friends who hold a place in our hearts on each and every one of those days.

While I was sitting out on this old deck writing this newsletter, I decided to set the mood and play some Christmas music. But I didn’t want the fun and traditional “Jingle Bells” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” Christmas music. I wanted something mellow, melancholy and introspective, so I found a coffeehouse Christmas playlist on Spotify and I let it play quietly in the background while I wrote. A song entitled “Christmas Always Finds Me” caught my ear, so I’ll leave you with a lyric that spoke to me. It’s a little reminder to lean on faith and love during the holidays.

“When silver bells and silent night
And mistletoe’s nowhere in sight
With no chance of snow falling down
Another year older
Little harder to believe
But somehow Christmas always finds me”

We hope this Christmastime is merry, bright and full of love and happiness for you and yours.

With our love and gratitude,

P.S. The archive of Christmas newsletters can be found here.

After our third annual Circle C Ranch Turkey Trot. I don’t get to see the family much on Thanksgiving morning. We happened to convene near the finish line and Brian grabbed this photo for us.